I hate all girls vehemently.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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