i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize