five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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