Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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