is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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