I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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