hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize