i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
