Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
