glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
