i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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