weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
