I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
