You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
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