I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
