is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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