i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
