you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
