I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
