im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Randomize
