there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
