Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
