I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
