Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Boobs are out for the taking
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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