Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Randomize
