Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I want to be your penis for a week.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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