How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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