now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
