There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
