even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
