I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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