smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Bang-toberfest begins!!
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
