we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
