What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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