is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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