She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
