Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Actions speak louder than pants.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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