There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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