I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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