party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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