before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
