Do you still have your period?
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
