I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
