it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
You're a waste of cheezeits
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
