Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
