At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
