10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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