You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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