is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
