i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
