now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
