I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
