I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Randomize
