So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Randomize
