she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Hello my rib-scented angel!
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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