thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Randomize
