He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Then you guys just all showered together...?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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