no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
