You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
